obra’s avatarobra’s Twitter Archive—№ 41,415

                                                                                                                      1. I’m going to start tweeting some of the wild weird stuff I run across on AliExpress. I’ve never touched any of these things and do not endorse them.
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                                                                                                    Chicken helmets. aliexpress.com/item/4000193788680.html Disclosure: I just bought four of these for the four hens we're getting this season.
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                                                                                              Nicholas Cage face swimsuit. aliexpress.com/item/33021198721.html I wonder how many more of these Face/Off tie-ins there are on Aliexpress
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                                                                                            Nicholas Cage anti-face recognition hoodie. s.aliexpress.com/qAVRviiu
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                                                                                          Nicholas Cage action figure with cruise missile. s.aliexpress.com/JjMj2UZV
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                                                                                        I’m not even gonna link these. But let me tell you, hoo-boy. Aliexpress’s algorithm has now decided that I am a Nicolas Cage fan. The things I do for you people.
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                                                                                      A fascinating new design of toilet plunger. s.aliexpress.com/6JZb2uyu
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                                                                                    A five dollar slingshot with laser targeting
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                                                                                  I’ve never seen this design of “bow“ and arrow before.
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                                                                              One of my factories has an automatic shoe covering machine like this. It is, no lie, amazing. And, it can actually cover the shoes on my big American feet. s.aliexpress.com/3YJvquUR
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                                                                        And yet, somehow no hits for “Nicolas Cage mask“
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                                                                      Why would you want your dog to look like Boris Johnson? s.aliexpress.com/eERnyeIb
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                                                            If I can adjust it to 6 feet and wear it on a hat, I’m all in.
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                                            Perfect for trick or treating. Or a visit to the corner store.
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                                    Probably not what the CDC had in mind.
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                                Nitinol wire paper clip. Especially for @oskay, I think.
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                            Coffee flair. Including an enamel aeropress pin
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                  This device takes 256 easily-replaced SIM cards. It has 8 EDGE modems. You can control it over USB. It’s designed to send SMS spam.
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              Water-cooled...iPhone case‽‽‽
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            The perfect cover for your fake AirPods’ case.
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          Wrist-mount emergency flotation device.
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      Car Umbrella. With remote control.
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      Perfect for narco-warlord cosplay.
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                    Smoke ‘‘em if you’ve got ‘em